And.....I'm 30

I honestly never thought I would make it to 30. That is just one of those ages that is unbelievable. My carefree teens are long gone, and my irresponsible 20s have just slipped away. But, I see no reason to grieve. Although I am ancient by many standards, the funny thing is I still feel like I'm 19. I'm still just sort wandering through life day by day doing the best I can with whatever is handed to me. Having said that....I have learned some things over the last 30 years.


I've learned that parents are not perfect. They are just as clueless as I am but they're trying their best. I think we tend to hold our parents to superhuman standards, and it's hard to admit it, but they make mistakes just like everyone else.
I've learned that sometimes you just have to close your eyes, make a wish, and go for it. I'm a big split-second decision maker. If I think too hard about any one decision, it will drive me nuts. I usually tend to trust my gut instinct, and so far it's worked out okay for me.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could always be this excited over a little red wagon? I have learned that it's this excitement that makes life worth living. I still have trouble sleeping the week before Christmas because I love the anticipation. I don't ever want to become blase about the fun stuff.

I have learned that hanging on to bitter feelings is awful for me. I tend to sit inside my head a lot and stew about lots of things, and I've learned that it accomplishs absolutely nothing. I heard a great saying, "When you don't forgive someone, it is like you taking poison and expecting another person to die from it." I'm really working on letting my past hurts go and I'm trying to avoid fresh batches of it.

Lately, I have been learning that friends are crucial. There have been times in the last year when nobody has been able to help me except for Erin. She has been there when I've needed her most, and that will always mean so much to me. I'm a very solitary person, and I delight in being alone, but I have to admit that it has been nice to have someone outside of my little family who I can go to. I've learned that life sometimes gets messy and that I don't always have control over things. I've learned that my faith is so important to me because it gets me through those things that I just don't understand and gives me a purpose beyond just myself.
I've learned that becoming a mom is one of the greatest things I've ever done. That has taught me how to let go and really just love someone .
I've learned, especially this last year, that the world does not revolve around me. It doesn't matter if I'm sick, hurt, or sad, I still have responsibilities that I have to get done and I still have people counting on me. I'm really trying to move past that selfish teenage attitude that I've had in the past and become an adult.
Well, so I'm 30. Happy Birthday to me. I hope that this year I can be happy and stay healthy, accomplish all the goals I've set for myself, and maybe learn a few more lessons along the way.